She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
