yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
