i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
