Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize