Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
