Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
