Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
