What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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