there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
