I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
