Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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