Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
