called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
