I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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