i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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