I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
