last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize