yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
