i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
