Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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