Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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