Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm determined to sit on that face.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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