wanna go halves on a baby?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
