I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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