Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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