i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
