I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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