dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
