saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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