I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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