I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Someone came in the potted fern
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
