I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
everyone is single if you try hard enough
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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