the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
