Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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