singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
