I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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