Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Who died my cat blue again?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize