we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
