she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize