What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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