Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
