I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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