he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
