Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
