Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
