I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
