Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
