Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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