He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
