i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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