12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
