so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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