U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
