please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize