Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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