Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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