So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
