Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
