he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
